Johnny

Johnny in Nashville, TN

I don't know if you're one to give advice on relationships but I'm having problems with my old lady. How do you suppose I spice up our love life?

Donnie is assuming by "old lady" you mean your horse or some other barnyard animal. Now, Donnie has been known to swing a whole lotta different ways, but getting busy with a living slab of bacon isn't one of them. Maybe try getting a new saddle, or some fresh slop or something. Or, if you're getting really desperate, wait for your "old lady" to get her head stuck in a fence. Then it's OPEN SEASON! YEEEE-HAW!